Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016) – reviewed by George

This is the champ of too-long movies; it just goes on and on. Sure, there are some really good sequences, like the car chase where the Batmobile is incredible, but they are too far apart. And the movie features several fights where a superhero takes on a gang or a mob or an army and what you’re looking at is basically mass murder. And the cost of the CGI buildings and planes and ships destroyed would add up to many, many millions. Plus, Batman (Ben Affleck) is purely psychotic here, with a huge hate for foreigners, especially the off-planet kind. Later it’s revealed that Alexander “Lex” Luthor (Jesse Eisenberg) made him that way – but he’s been so cuckoo so long that the info is too late to make you turn around and like him again (too late for me anyway).
Not many minutes in I realized that I probably should have seen “Superman: Man of Steel” first, but I think film makers ought to expect, even hope for, more viewers, and obviously the increase will not all be familiar with what’s gone before, so allowances should be made.
The beginning – “Metropolis: The world is introduced to Superman” and we see a Kryptonian ship that is too wide for Metropolis streets flying through at about the sixth floor level and bringing down whole blocks of buildings on both sides of the street.
“18 Months Later” – A diver finds what I thought was a stone head, later identified as a whale, and brings it up. When it is broken open they find a big chunk of kryptonite.
Lois Lane (Amy Adams) interviews a general in the desert and there is a huge shootout, from which Superman (Henry Cavill) rescues her. He then gets heat from Senator Finch (Holly Hunter) for starting the war.
Alfred (Jeremy Irons) tries to get Bruce to try a different tack toward Superman, but Bruce says, “We’re criminals, Alfred. We’ve always been criminals.”
Clark tells Perry White (Laurence Fishburne) that when you assign a story, you’re deciding who matters and who doesn’t, and poor people matter. Perry replies, “The American conscience died with Robert, Martin, and John.”
A lot of exposition is squeezed in at 1:37. Wonder Woman (Gal Gadot) appears at 2:05. Without the closing credits the film is 2:24. And a good time was not had by me.
Written by Chris Terrio and David S. Goyer, and directed by Zack Snyder. Final words: “He’s hungry. He’s heard me. And he’s coming!”
Title should have been “Batman V. Superman: Dawn of Mayhem”.

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