Episode # 4: The Super-Colossal Affair
Mr. Frank Cariago (Bernard Fein) has come to Sicily at the request (demand) of his Uncle Giuliano (Guest Star J. Carrol Naish) who is upset. “It’s not the money,” he says, “its the ingratitude”. And he tells of how his organization built Las Vegas and was then forced out when the town went legit. He gives his nephew one week to correct the current situation, and if he fails he dies.
Illya (David McCallum) is planting microphones around Cariago’s pool in Beverly Hills when Ginger La Veer (Carol Wayne) walks up and asks him, in a baby-doll voice, what he’s doing. “I’m the pool repairman.” Very concerned she asks, “Is it broken?” When Frank and his hoods get back, Illya has to split to the truck where Solo (Robert Vaughn) is working the recorder, which is picking up the mikes. Ginger starts demanding that Frank get her into the movies, as he has been promising for some time, and Frank says, “Shut up!” In a little scuffle one of the mikes falls out of a bush, and Frank freaks, “It’s from Uncle Giuliano!” Well, he’s not all wrong; it is from U.N.C.L.E. But Ginger says it must be from the pool man, and the chase is on. Illya and Solo get away by being slower than the hoods pursuing them. Tricky!
Frank has been promising Ginger a movie role just to keep her, but then she brings him a newspaper story about how director Sheldon Veblen (Guest Star Shelly Berman) has run out of financing for his new picture “Sodom and Gomorrah”, and Frank has a real brainstorm. He actually may live through this if he gives Veblen the money and a new idea for wiping out Vegas in the big finish – an atomic bomb! Which will be real because Frank knows a guy.
Written by Stanford Sherman, Directed by Barry Shear.
Episode # 5: The Monks of St. Thomas Affair
Under orders from Mr. Waverly (Leo G. Carroll) Illya has taken Solo away from a chauteaubriand dinner with a beautiful woman, and Solo is in the passenger seat eating a hot dog. His expression says it all, but that doesn’t stop him. “The mustard is decidedly inferior.” Illya pipes up, “There’s a can of root beer in the glove compartment.” When they arrive at the home of Dr. Lambert, the house is dark and the sprinklers come on as they’re approaching the front door, and then a car full of men shooting at them roars by. AND when they enter the house a bomb goes off.
Back in Waverly’s office he pooh-poohs the idea that they could have saved Dr. Lambert, “He was dead before you arrived. As you would be of you hadn’t had the foresight to soak your clothing.” Solo hesitantly replies, “Oh well, it was nothing.” Pained looks exchanged that Waverly misses, “Well, nevertheless it saved your lives.”
New assignments: Illya to track down the men who killed Lambert, and Solo to travel to the Swiss Alps and the Monastery of St. Thomas. Waverly has two reasons to send Solo there: Abbott John (John Wengraf) recently wrote to Waverly and when Waverly replied, did not write back, and one of the pieces of equipment from Lambert’s lab smelled of Aquitine, the noble beverage made at the monastery.
Solo arrives at the monastery and rings a small bell. He is greeted by a (herd? flock?) of St. Bernards who like him so much they knock him down and ruin his Alpine-style hat. Brother Peter (Henry Calvin) runs to rescue him, then is severely disciplined by the new Abbott Simon (Guest Star David J. Stewart), who says visitors are no longer allowed, and Solo has to leave. But Simon is disliked, and Brother Peter and Brother Paulus (Iggie Wolfington) will become Solo’s allies.
Illya is disguised as a porter at Kennedy Airport and Waverly has told him to go through the bags of their suspects in Dr. Lambert’s murder (who are booked to Zurich). And back at Solo’s hotel Andrea Fouchet (Celeste Yarnall) is getting the run-around from everyone as she tries to find her uncle, Abbott John.
Big finish at the monastery, and Aquitine for all!
Written by Sheldon Stark, Directed by Alex March.
Episode # 6: The Pop Art Affair
Waverly and Solo are playing golf and Ilya is the caddy. Solo misses a putt and Illya sings out “Eee-leven!” They are there because a Thrush agent has contacted them to meet him on the course, but is it a trap? The agent appears with a canister, looking very sixties, and says Thrush is a slow-pay outfit: the gas is ready and he still has no bread. Suddenly a speeding golf cart (well, as much speed as you can get out of one) comes into view and the beatniks in it are shooting at the four men. These dudes are dressed Carnaby style, like the Monkees or Austin Powers. The four duck into a sand trap, but Illya runs back to retrieve the golf bag he was carrying and points it at the shooters. Turns out it is a missile launcher and he blows up the bad guys. Unfortunately the canister was hit by a bullet and the Thrush defector is hiccoughing spastically and dies.
Assignments: Illya to a Greenwich Village coffee shop to pick up clues, and Solo to coordinate from HQ. Illya is dressed all in black and is wearing the defector’s medallion, and Sylvia Harrison (Sherry Alberoni) insists on sketching him. This makes Fred the espresso bartender (Jack Perkins) suspicious, and he calls Mark Ole’ (Robert H. Harris) and tells him that someone has been in looking for Coplin (Tommy Farrell), and he’s wearing a pendant. Ole thinks it may be Coplin’s medallion (and remember, it is) and he takes action. As Illya goes to the pop art show at the Ole’ Gallery, where he meets Mari Brooks (Sabrina Scharf), Solo is meeting Sylvia’s parents the Harrisons (Nellie Burt and Charles Lane). Funny and fast, and another episode where Illya gets more to do (since he is now a star rather than co-star).
Written by John Shaner & Al Ramrus, Directed by george waGGner.