2* out of 5* Lady Chatterley’s Lover 1981 – reviewed by Anita

Valentine’s Day is upon us. Even with this crazy time of lock down and social distancing we still want to celebrate. A great date night for this holiday dedicated to love and romance is dinner and a movie. With lock down that is pizza and a video. Let me save you the trouble of making a bad choice. BBQ chicken on pizza bad choice. Lady Chatterley’s Lover (this version anyway) equally as bad. Both are guaranteed to give you indigestion. LCL is based on a novel by D.H. Lawrence (1928). I know the novel has a reputation of being a bit risqué (when it was published). Based on the concept, as well as the vivid writing I’m sure it was to 1928 what 50 Shades of Grey is to the 2015 crowd. Director Just Jaeckin just didn’t bring it home for me. Sylvia Kristel (Lady Chatterley) is lovely. And Nicholas Clay (Oliver Mellor, her lover) is hot. And there ya go. I guess what I didn’t like about it IS the concept. In a nutshell, his Lordship (Shans Briant) comes home from the Great War with a crippling injury leaving him impotent. Her Ladyship is torn between love of her husband and her physical desires. Clifford (Lord Chatterley), wanting to be a good husband, an understanding husband, even a progressive husband, encourages Connie (Lady Chatterley) to find a lover. She does in the gamekeeper Mellor (Nicholas Clay). As to be expected there is a lot of coupling, secret meetings, sizzling moments of sexual tension and deceit, as well as lots of nudity. Subplots that didn’t really hold my interest. And a huge unveiling with drama. OK: here is the drama: Crippled Lord Chatterley drags himself upstairs to find his wife’s bed empty confirming his suspicious of her affair with the gamekeeper. Then blah, blah, blah Connie ends up pregnant. Big surprise, Lord Chatterley is not down with a bastard of lower class being heir to his estate. We all saw that coming. As for Mellor, he annoyed me over his ongoing need for validation. Over and over again he whined Connie only wanted to have sex with him; she didn’t see him as a man. Whatever… I think my favorite part of the movie is the fact that it is a British film with a French movie poster.